Nowhere, Now Here, Nowhere
Associate Professor of the Composition, Philosophy, and Analysis of Music
waNting tO make music is a desire to become. sound creating existence. in time. in
space. in aWareness. making sound is to be HERE. aNd alsO to be there. present to
myself. present to another. sound becomes a person. or a people. i am. We are.
HEaRing is only to ENcOunter…to meet…be confronted. But sound arrives WitH
quEstions. with demands. now what do I do? what do we do? what we call listening
then is to make a silence. cREate it. give it. souNd is present tO. listening is present
for. it recognizes. creates room among us. makes a place for in the World. tHEREfore
makes the world. learNing tO make a sound—to shape it, practice it, repeat it, play
it, to play WitH it—is lEaRning to Exist. NOW witH prEsent awaRENess. tO become
more completely. to be more fully. my first instrument. my first sounds. fragments
of being. of becoming. my pieces. composing. putting those pieces together. a first
listening. all remnants of an early desire to exist. in time. in space. in aWareness. to
myself. to anotHER. thE souNds stOp. the pieces end. WitH dissolution comEs also
the fiRst intimation of not bEing. a glimpse at what follows becomiNg. making sOund
brings an inevitable silence. noW falling silent again is also to not be more fully. to
myself. to anotHER. non-ExisteNce in time. in space. in awareness. bliss. nOn-being.
becoming. being. vanishing. again. that is the WHolE stoRy, isn’t it? and thE whole
story is what we call love.